Putting The Fight into the Marriage

​It used to be that women were more spiritually inclined. It used to be that women were the inspiration for their husbands to reach greater heights. It used to be that women were the ones that inspired their children to become great people.
And then women became men.
We think that women are more progressive nowadays because they have more rights. They have more freedom to venture into the outside world. Yet, instead of liberalizing the world, they have just gave up their identity. And now we have a bunch of men walking the streets.
I think I’ve said this before, but I don’t mind saying it again.
IT WASN’T MUCH BETTER BEFORE THE FEMINIST MOVEMENT!
I’m not one to sit and mourn over the glorified past. There’s a REASON women felt the need to change direction.
Except they were lost in a tunnel, so they just went down a a darker hole. Which didn’t really get them to the end.
In other words, women didn’t really have a voice BEFORE the feminist movement. They think they have a voice now, yet in reality, they are just mimicking the male voice.
The male voice is of ACHEIVEMENT. It is of “THE BOTTOM LINE.” The male voice doesn’t take in circumstances that have to do with the big picture. It is just black and white. Good and bad. Right and wrong.
The female voice is of RELATIONSHIPS. It is of COMPASSION. It is about building character traits. It is about taking a WHOLE picture into account when assessing a situation.
Just as an example of this point, there is a recent incident that comes to mind. I will spare you details to protect the privacy of the people involved. Let’s just suffice it say that this man did something not ethical in order to make a little bit of money.
And the thought that kept popping up in my head was , “where is his wife in all this?”
I know her. She is a very nice lady. And VERY kind. So why isn’t she telling her husband that IT’S NOT WORTH THE MONEY. Or I’D RATHER BE A NICE PERSON THAN MAKE SOME MONEY. Or even, HASHEM IS IN CONTROL OF HOW MUCH MONEY WE GET, IF WE DON’T GET IT THIS WAY, HE HAS MANY MORE WAYS OF SENDING IT OUR WAY.
If I would ask her this question, I know what she would answer me. She once told me this in the past. “I don’t know anything about my husbands business.  I stay out of it.”
What does that mean?
You run his home. You care for his children. You take care of his food. You take care of his clothing…. But you stay out of his life?????
I feel like telling her, “lady  what are you there for?” If you are not inspiring your husband to change and become the great man that he can become, then you are wasting away your life. This is what you were created for.
I used to wonder what a women’s Bechirah entailed. And now I see it.
A women can choose whether to FIGHT her husband or whether to KEEP SILENT.
And when I say fight, I don’t necessarily mean it in the literal sense. I mean, expecting something more from him. I mean demanding that he lives up to his souls purpose. To becoming a human being that resembles G-d.

I know another woman who is falling apart. She works very hard for her home. Her husband does not offer to help. She carries the weight of the household all on her shoulders.
He is not acting like a G-dly creature.
So either she can choose to remain silent or she can speak up. And say “this is not ok.” Watching your wife fall apart while you do nothing is not ok.
And she has to stick with it. And not give up. Because she is doing something that is hard for her. She is elevating her husbands spirituality.
I have another friend who’s son fell really hard and needed to get stitches. She says that she was sick at the time of the incident and that’s why it occurred.
Again, the first question that popped into my head is “where was her husband?” Why wasn’t he around watching the children while she was out of commission?
You may answer, he’s out working.
Is work more important than your children?
Men won’t learn these things on their own. They need their wives to teach them. That’s why every women was put together with the EXACT man that she needs to help.
Try it. Look around you and notice the couples. Imagine being the wife/husband of someone else.
It won’t work, right?
You see, every wife has what it takes to make her husband into a great man. Nothing more, nothing less. Every women knows how to push her husbands buttons. Every women can manipulate her husband into getting what she wants. She can either choose to IGNORE these powers or she can choose to UTILIZE them. She can use these powers for SELFISH purposes or she can tap into his SPIRITUAL reserves and bring him out.
And can I tell you a secret?
Men are FIGHTERS.
Don’t be afraid to give him a battle. A man that doesn’t fight, becomes a very lazy underdeveloped person.
I have a neighbor who is married to a stealer. Yup. You got it. He steals things from other people’s garages. And you know what his wife does about that?
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.
I see her going on walks with him every day. She mows the lawn for him. She drives him around…
You get the idea. And she’s not even Jewish! But she still needs to tap into her feminine voice of truth. And get her husband to a better place. Because no matter what religion you are, every women has the same purpose. She has to get her husband to a higher more spiritual plain.
You think you are pushing your husband away when you do this. But you are really only bringing him closer.
And I guarantee you that in the long run HE WILL BE GRATEFUL.
I’ve yet to see a man who is not up for a good fight.