Living with a Dreamer

"Cuz only dreamers still believe that dreams come true."
A practical person will just tell the dream "it just doesn't make any logical sense." But somehow the dreamers will hold onto their dreams as if it were their life force. They will NEVER let go of their dreams. Regardless of their circumstances. Regardless of the logic (or illogic) behind it.
They may not always act upon their dreams. They may not have the confidence to go ahead with their ideas. They may get depressed from not carrying out their plans. But they will ALWAYS hold on to their dreams in the back of their heads.
So let's face it. And live with it.
Instead of running away from reality.
So how do you live with a dreamer?
How do you bring all that untapped potential into a concrete reality? How do you prevent frustration and depression that comes from not actaulizing a dream?
Right now I'm going to focus on the spouse of a dreamer. Not the dreamer him/herself.
Many times dreamers are married to very down to earth and practical people. They are usually the ones that hold the house down. Because if two dreamers will marry each other..... Well how do you think anything will get done in the house?
So we're going to have the dreamer who has all these grand ideas in his/her head. And the spouse initially is taken by all the charisma/brilliance/potential. The spouse feels like someone "finally" understands them...
And then marriage comes in. And practical life seeps in as well. All of a sudden, somehow, all those dreams that she was initially so inspired by-fall out the window!
What happened?
She used to be so motivated and driven by all his ideals. What happened that all of a sudden it all went out the window?
Well, maybe it became a little bit hard for her.
Maybe just maybe she wanted all these dreams in her head but when it actually came down to it, she lost her drive. Or maybe she didn't even think it was a struggle. Maybe she got married and said "listen darling, your dreams are very nice and pretty. But at the end of the day, we live in a practical world. We need to deal with reality. Your dreams will just have to fall to the wayside for now. And we'll pick them up.... Well, when the time comes....
And 10 years down the line, she doesn't know why her husband is depressed and unsuccessful in life.....
Having down to earth qualities are very good for the day to day runnings of the home. But it sure won't help get those dreams up and running.
Or maybe it will.
If the practical person can open up her mind to see her spouse. To REALLY see her spouse. And that doesn't mean just letting him go with his dreams and leaving him to his own devices.
It means actually being PRESENT to his reality.
I know someone who's married to a dreamer and she told me "If someone would look at our marriage at the outset, they'd see me being a wonderful wife. I supported my husband in whatever endeavor he tried. I agreed with any dream he posessed.... But if you'd really look inside my heart then, I just SAID I backed his dreams. Yet deep inside I didn't really believe that he could pull it off. And you know what ended up happening? Whenever there came a hump in the road, I just buckled under and told my husband to stop. Because it just wasn't practical enough for me. In hindsight, I was really the one preventing my husband from being successful. I didn't know the secret to helping a dreamer acheive his goals."
So many times, we think we are perfect because we haven't really opened ourselves up to REALLY listen to the other side. Some of us like to put on an "image" of being that perfect spouse.
But "image" is not a marriage.
And the more we focus on pleasing the "Jones", the more it takes away from our relationship as a couple.
Marriage is about FULLY opening ourselves up to ourselves. Whether we are the "dreamer" or the "practical one." We can't have a relationship so other people can "think we're a functional family."
Sometimes the most "dysfunctional families" are the most open to themselves. (Sometimes they're not- that's why they may remain in the dysfuntion.) And sometimes, the most "functional families" are so cut off from their relationship in their marriage. They have very little clue as to what their spouse REALLY is.
So living with a dreamer means: learning when their spouse needs their space to dream. It means learning when their spouse needs some practical advice. It means stepping in when their spouse needs some actual practical help. It means learning how to communicate your trust and belief in his dreams.(And REALLY feeling it inside!)
It also means being willing to weather the ups and downs of the dreams. It means not giving up so fast when things get a bit rough.
Because, really each person chooses when they want to enjoy their lives. If they stay stubborn and hold onto their comfortable stable life, they will enjoy their life now. But if they choose to become a little bit more flexible and endure a little sweat and embrace their husbands dreams, they will enjoy their life later on.
I'd choose the latter, hands down.