I'm starting to look at people's external appearances as manifestations of their thoughts. I'm used to hearing expressions like " You are what you eat." or "You are what you do." But now I'm starting to realize that it goes way deeper than just that. YOU ARE YOUR THOUGHTS.
I recently signed up at the gym and I can't help but look around me at the people. I love the gym. I love the people. I am so in awe by all these frum women who do so much in their lives and yet they also take the time out to care for their bodies! I don't know any other group of women in today's society that do what we do. (Give yourself a pat - you deserve it!) One of the instructors told me that she loves coming to this gym because the atmosphere is so positive, the women so motivated.... I cannot agree with her more!
I'm not sure if I've said this idea before, but this is the concept that is ringing through my mind these days. I like to divide people into 3 categories. 1) Feeling people 2) Thinking people and 3) Body people
Of course, we all have all three, but in each person, one of these categories is usually predominant. We each have Bechirah in every area in our lives. But the area that is going to show up the most is going to be our dominant traits.
There's a book that I was reading that laid it out so well. (Self beyond self by R' Y.S. Hurwitz)
The Feeling oriented people have the predominant Yetzer Horah of Jealousy; thererby becoming self centered, materialistic and greedy.
The Thinking oriented people have the predominant Yetzer Horah of Arrogance; thereby becoming egocentric, controlling, and non-empathic.
The Body oriented people have the prodiminant Yetzer Horah of Lust; thereby becoming physical, self indulgent, and lack of self restraint.
I seem to be in the "thinking" category. For some reason, I'm always getting stuck in my thoughts.
Sometimes, I get into the mode of thinking "reality." My thoughts go something like this: "My husband is sitting and learning. You really think he's shteiging in Yeshiva? Maybe he's just wasting away his time...... I'm being realistic. It's better to be realistic now then to wake up to reality later on when it's too late."
Or how about the issue of money. "You know, we don't have a lot of money now. In 5 years from now we're going to have the same amount. And when we are ready to marry off our children, my husband will be making the same salary as now! He MUST get a better job TODAY! If we wait one more minute, we will be doomed....."
I'm sure you get into this thinking as well. We all do.
It's that little voice inside of us that's called "Reality." It's that little voice inside of us that has the constant need to be "Right."
Because the worst possible scenario in life is that we are proven wrong - right? Even if it's a positive shift. It still feels really bad to be proven wrong.
Like "I told you that we won't have enough for our down payment for our house. Why didn't you listen to me then?!?" What if I was proven wrong on this one? Would that do anything to my ego?
Now I'm thinking of starting to exchange that name called "REALITY" to "NEGATIVITY."
Do I WANT my life to turn out negative?
Would I be happy if my negative predictions actually turned around for the good?
I used to laugh at those women who viewed their husbands in a naive sort of way. They would idolize their husbands and dismiss their wrongdoings as "righteous." Like "Oh my husband can't come to family get together, he's too busy learning. He'd never waste a minute in his learning." I used to laugh under my breath, thinking how their husbands are putting on a good show. You know, these men, who don't like getting together with the family? So they put up the front that they don't want to take away from their learning.
Their wives may not be in reality.
But they may end up becoming what their wives think of them. Because "THOUGHTS BECOME REALITY."
I look at some adults, who went through hell as children. And they are normal sane people. And then I look at others, who either went though hell or did not, and they did not amount to much.
And the only difference between the two is the thoughts that their caretakers had about them. Anyone that had someone that believed in them, went on to lead successful, and productive lives. And anyone that had "reality" voices in their heads were very crippled adults.
I wish I had know this knowledge earlier in my life.
I wish I would have known that my thoughts create my reality. I wish I would have worked harder and trained my mind more to think only positively. I wish I would have believed more in the people around me. I still can. It's never too late. Life is a gift. I will cherish the moments that I have.
There is still so much that can be accomplished with my mind at the steering wheel. Enjoy the road!