My favorite topic is about women getting in touch with their emotions and getting comfortable in the fact that they just ARE.
They don't have to ACHEIVE anything in order to be VALUED.
They are not measured by the amount of children they have, how many years their husband's learn, what kind of a career they have, and even how skinny or pretty they are....
This is a MAN's marking system.
Not a WOMAN's.
A woman is about her STATE OF BEING.
She is about serenity and warmth.
She is about nurturing and listening.
And the level by which she uses these strengths, this is her marking system.
As we say sheasani kirtzono. We don't have to "do"anything to gain value. Vs a man who is much more bound to action based mitzvohs...
He is more physical oriented whereas a women being more spiritually inclined.
As we know that Adam was created from EARTH versus Chavah who was created from MAN.
Which will be each of their automated pulls.
I'd like to get women more in touch with who they are as women and not get defined by what men are telling them to be.
Because when women don't listen to their inner voices and they just follow their husbands blindly, they - as well as their husband's, will ultimately not be happy.
Not to say that a woman shouldn't listen to her husband.
She does need to listen.
As it says ishah ksheirah oseh retzon baalah.
But I think what we are missing here is that a women needs to tap in to what her husband REALLY wants.
Not what he SAYS he wants.
An example I give to explain this is a child who was upset by another child insulting him. So he comes home and kicks his mommy and says "I'm hungry." Or "I want a Lego set." The mother really thinks that the child wants food or Lego and rushes to get it. But in reality she's not getting to the root of the problem. Because the next day she's going to go through the same thing...
Until the problem is solved.
When men are saying they want food or money or cars or vacations they are asking for Lego.
There is something else that is bothering them.
So they will never be satisfied.
What they really want......
IS A WIFE.
They want to know that they can come home to someone who is not preoccupied with anything but them.
They want to be able to tell their wives their true feelings in their lives without any judgement.
They want to have a happy and calm women that they can live with.
And this will give them the fuel for what they need to accomplish outside of the home.
This is the true "ratzon"of any man.
And this is the Yetzer Horah of a women.
It's much easier for a women to give their husbands physical things than to REALLY listen to their husbands.
And this is the yardstick that a woman is measured at.
Whether her husband feels secure enough in the relationship or not.
Now if a women doesn't live up to her role, this does not give a man any permission to do whatever he wants. He still is obligated by the 613 mitzvohs, regardless of how much help he is getting.
Just, if a woman is doing her role, a man will have a much easier task ahead.
Women throughout our history understood this role of theirs. As we learn about the women in mitzrayim who were the bastion of light for their husbands. They would make sure to look beautiful as well as prepare delicious fish for their husbands. This was of course done with a serene and positive feeling, even though the environment was anything but that!
Feminism has changed all this. And Patriarchy preceded that. None of these movements were good for women. Both of these have taught women to lose touch with their inner voices.
We are now at a point of reconnecting with the TRUE role of women.
Like it says B'zchus Nashim Tzidkaniyos Nigalu Avoseinu Uvizchusan Asidin Lhegael